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Writer's pictureJulie Lokun

This Is How You Can Get What You Want. Now.

Updated: Aug 2, 2020

A Coach's Guide To Self-Worth
You are Worthy Just Because You are You

Every Choice We Make Is directly related to how we feel about ourselves at that moment.*


Let me say that again.


Every choice we make is directly related to how we feel about ourselves at that VERY moment.


So, take a moment to think about where you are at this very moment.


  • What choices have led you here?

  • Are you happy with these choices or are you struggling with these choices?

  • Are you stuck in a cycle of a continual pattern?

  • Same okay job for 15 years?

  • Same okay relationship for 15 years?

  • Same extra 15 pounds for years and years?


How do we become unstuck of these patterns and become a peak performer?

Let us start with the basics.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need is the gold standard in laying the foundation of how we can move our lives to a higher level.


Do you remember this colorful pyramid in your high school Psych Class? If you have forgotten- here is a little refresher:



Maslow outlines the basic needs of humans. The most important need being physiological. (Food, Water, Warmth, etc). The next tier is Safety- every human has the need to feel secure in the confines of their own space. Following safety is Love and Belonging are an essential cog in the hierarchy of self-actualization. Maslow, then theorizes that ESTEEM plays a pivotal role in the journey to living our best lives. Self Esteem is defined as a realistic respect for or a favorable impression of oneself; self-respect. Without embracing the intrinsic acknowledgment of self-worth we are stagnant.


And at the apex of this pyramid is self-actualization. This is the moment in time the human experience is at a point of peak performance.


Peak Performance is characterized by Significance, Fulfillment, and Spiritual Oneness.


Simply put, when we inhabit the realm of peak performance we have an increase in personal awareness and understanding. As you reach fulfillment you generate positive emotions you are rewarded with moments of pure joy. As a result, you feel at one with the universe and experience the phenomena of losing track of time. Losing track of time-this is a delicious moment of pure happiness. When all your creativity, love, and intention is poured out of your soul and into an experience. I often get lost in time when I am writing. My brain is so engulfed in the bliss of the moment I often look up at the clock and realize 4 hours have passed.


Peak Performance sounds amazing. Doesn’t it? Often you experience this moment during moments of creativity or excelling physically. It is when we do the work and when we attain full self-awareness we are able to live in this truly happy, authentic space.


OBSTACLES

What keeps us from reaching our true potential?


Notwithstanding illness or abuse, it is the person in the mirror that holds us back. We are the biggest contributor to our slow progression towards actualization. We are a solitary army that fights off growth opportunities that lead to expansion. We continually accept false beliefs that we are not good enough or worthy of living a life of exponential abundance. We become conspirators in self-sabotaging.


Self Sabotage.


Fact: We have all participated in some form of sabotage.

We have betrayed ourselves at an organic level. We don't believe in our worth. We choose the wrong partner. We stay with the wrong partner. We take a job that does not accentuate our talents. We press rewind, replaying the negative loop in our minds that we are not worthy.



Self Sabotage Is Disguised As:
  • Not devoting time and space to making changes

  • Your capacity to change is dependent on others

  • You are a perfectionist who is dismissive of incremental changes

  • You are TOO BUSY CHASING COWS TO BUILD A FENCE (think about that one)

  • Or you are on a pleasure and denial binge.


Often Self Sabotage is cloaked in energy-draining activities-like:

  • Wasting time trying to reinvent the wheel

  • Holding space for everyone else who needs your advice or help

  • Procrastination

  • Creating self-imposed rules that lead to not doing the things you need to do,

  • Actively participating in a pattern that is comfortable.


Does any of this resonate?


  • Now I challenge you to think about your biggest desires.

  • What is holding you back?

  • Does this closely correlate to how you feel about yourself?

  • How do you self sabotage? I know this is huge.


Coaching Advice:

  • Do the work. Take action. Do the real work -this may provoke feelings of uncomfortable unease. Walk through this unease of accepting your intrinsic worthiness-and look at your life with an objective eye.

  • Create a practice of self-love. It may sound silly at the moment, but put reminders all around that shout, " I am worthy"! Every baby born is anointed with intrinsic worth. You do not have to achieve big things to be a person of worth. You do not have to be an extraordinary helper to be a worthy person. And you do not have to be perfect to claim the title of worthiness. You just have to be you. That's it. You deserve good things, just because you are you.

  • For fun, try the app " I AM" .

Click on the heart icon below to get more information on the I AM app.


It is free and it sends reminders throughout your day that you are deeply worth all of life's treasures.


But just know that you deserve so much in your life. You are worthy. You are worthy of great things.

Leave A Legacy. You Got This---Julie




*(Notwithstanding Illness or Abuse)

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