If you are human chances are that you have stumbled across a frightfully painful experience. Was it a partner who did you wrong? Or was it a dagger inflicted by a friend who pulled a fast one? The context of your pain really doesn't matter. What matters is that it hurts. This DNA attacking wound often festers at the surface of your emotional reservoirs then can unexpectedly resurface when triggered.
Now let me ask, has this pain strangled your joy? Unfortunately, pain like this has the power to halt you in your footsteps and handcuff you to the past. It can be quite foreboding to release this pain. And in some instances this pain becomes so powerful that it will alter your identity. Thus your identity morphs into your very own personal brand of a victim.
This pain, when not processed and released create collateral soul-searing damage which prevents you from moving forward in your life. It too, can alienate you from those around you who bear witness to your ruminations and self-flagellation.
So what can you do? I often suggest to clients who have been subject to this sort of anguish to create a sacred space of release. In this process, you reclaim a sense of power and symbolically untether past aggressions. I caution you to respect your journey-and do not attempt before you are ready.
Release & Reset
*PERSONAL RELEASING CEREMONY
A releasing ceremony is a spiritual release (not specifically connected with any religion) . This healing ritual is just one tool that has been helpful to many people, who are working to release anger, pain and other difficult emotions that can hinder growth and progress. **However, it is not meant to replace any needed psychological counseling or mental health help that might be needed. If you have mental or emotional imbalances that are affecting your ability to function normally, please see a qualified counselor of your choosing to help.
Releasing anger and rage over events in your past: One of the most valuable healing release exercises I've ever tried involves processing past hurts through the ceremonial ritual of release. It may be that you, like me, have used such spiritual tools before. Yet, I would encourage you to explore the particular scripting used in this ceremony of release. I found that the three-part process I'll be sharing made a difference. AND keep in mind—tailor your ceremony to be personal to you. Do what you are comfortable with and omit things that are not of interest.
This spiritual ceremony involves writing a letter to each person who, you feel, has brought negativity to you, whether verbally, mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually. The degree of abuse doesn't matter. If you felt violated, then it abused your essence. If you harbor any feelings of bitterness, resentment, hurt, anger or fear as a result, then it can eventually damage your Spirit and your body.
And when I use the words "spiritual ceremony" or "healing ritual" I do so deliberately, to denote that there should be an attitude of spiritual attention and intention when you decide to facilitate this release for yourself. Dedicate time, pray or meditate to get yourself centered, calm, and focused. Give adequate intent and attention to the process and acknowledge it as important enough to command time set aside specifically for the ceremony.
In this letter of healing and release, you are not nice. You let it fly. You don't hold anything back because it is the thing we hold back that gets trapped in our cellular make-up and causes manifestations like weight gain and chronic fatigue, depression, etc. This is meant to handle our most ugly, angry and hateful feelings, and to help us heal them thru safe expression without guilt.
Please note that the purpose of this full out expression is NOT retaliation or revenge or any type of negative projection. It is for you and you alone. It is an allowing of your feelings, however out of balance they might be at the time, in Sacred Space, so that you can know yourself, express yourself and move thru unresolved emotional residue.
So, how do you avoid guilt in this situation? What's important is to set your intent beforehand that you want to let go of whatever unexpressed feelings you might still be unconsciously carrying. And that you are not projecting them toward the person in any kind of vindictive way but giving them up to the universe, in an honest confession of your true feelings.
Finish these three statements in each letter:
1. This is what you did: 2. This is how what I felt, in response to what you did: 3. This is how I have allowed what you did to affect my life:
When you have finished the letter(s), get a fireproof container, at a time when you can be alone and create a Sacred Space by smudging, prayers, etc. and burn each letter, releasing a lantern and send it all back to the universe. Use your voice with this ceremony, as a powerful self-affirmation of your intent. You may use the words I've provided below, or words of your own choosing, to set your spiritual intent to heal the past, at the time that you burn the letters:
"I now release all agreements I may have made, to hold suffering and to receive abuse. I now choose healthy relationships and release all behaviors, emotions and beliefs around any idea that I deserve or caused abuse. I release all negative behaviors that have resulted from this abuse. I embrace my life and intend into my life, joy, peace, love and respect. I love and respect myself and choose to live my life as loved and respected. I draw to me those who will support this decision to heal, and to experience more joy, love, peace and respect in my life. I allow the natural course of feelings to express to the point of forgiveness and healing, at my soul's best speed of healing. I am gentle with myself as I learn how to live in a space of love and self-respect. It is complete. I accept my healing into every cell of my body. I AM. I AM Healed."
It will be important to focus on what feelings and adjustments you want to bring into your life, to fill the empty space left by releasing what was there before so take some time to image-in what you want to fill those newly lightened and healed spaces within you.
It's also important to realize that, even though you have indeed healed yourself, it will take time for the new behaviors and ways of living to establish themselves so don't be dismayed if it appears you still feel wounded for a time. That is normal. Spend time in meditation and prayer and get healing or body work as often as you can. Make yourself and your healing a priority.
And finally, remember that each person who has hurt you is a flawed human and made choices out of alignment with what is true and good. There can be a release of blame and you can begin to see that their choices were about them and not you. Too often, when we are hurt or betrayed or rejected by someone else, we consciously or unconsciously believe that the hurt, betrayal rejection or other painful action is somehow indicative of our true worth as a being. It isn't about you. It's about the other person and their issues and struggles.
* If you have a friend or family member who languishes in pain and is challenged by moving forward-send them this article. Deliver it with compassion. Do your part to foster an uplifting human experience.
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